Posted: 02/22/07 01:33 PM
Cars can't be gay, but their owners sure can. So, for all of those car lovers out there, here are the best glbt cars of 2007:
Best Car for the Gay Professional
2006 Porsche Cayman S
It's powerful and pretty, yet outpaces the competition with little effort. The Cayman S is an uncompromising enthusiasts ride. What better way to show your boss that you'll one day have his job than by being the executive you were born to be. Already an exec? Let the other directors salivate over your curves and professional prowess.
Best Car for the New Gay Family
2008 Buick Enclave
Yes, I said a Buick; but there's no need to worry.This new crossover cruiser, based on the GM-saving Lambda platform has upgraded the old school brand way beyond its previous nursing home status. The curves are clean and sexy, the chrome evenly placed and the interior ultra sophisticated with room enough for the Burberry child seat and Louis luggage. Mid gays take note: The Enclave, available Summer 2007, will satisfy a variety of corporate, family and personal needs (all with style).
2007 Scion tC
The tC is the most attractive of the youth-oriented Toyota brand. Scion's have mass young gay appeal with customizable packages and teen prices. Could Toyota have gotten it right yet again?
Best Topless Go-Go Getter
2007 Saturn Sky Roadster
Saturn's sexy, economically priced breeze-maker shares a platform with sister roadster, the Pontiac Solstice. The Sky has put a breath of fresh air in the small-town brand. Currently, there is no hard or electronic retractable top option, but a few manual pulls is worth the look and feel of this eye-catcher. And at just above $20,000, Tim Gunn says it best, "And off we go."
Best Ride for the Trendy Gay Man
2007 Volkswagen EOS
Another topless taker on the top gay list. VW's old Rabbit had to be the gayest car ever made. Now it's evolved sister, the EOS, wears the tiara. Ride up or down. Either way, no gay sticker necessary.
Best Ride for the Trendy Gay Man (Urban)
2007 Dodge Charger
Car enthusiasts complained endlessly about the Charger's four doors, but people who actually bought the car fought back with a dismissive "who cares?" The car is hot and even the cheap non-chrome-rim version incites muscle envy. The design has classic roots with modern appeal. Just like today's urban gay man.
Best Lesbian Moving Van
2007 Subaru Forester
What's a top gay car list without top lesbian picks? This year, the Forester takes the moving van honors. Columnist Kathy Belge says, "The Subaru Forester is great for lesbians with kids or dogs." Do lesbians not like cats and pickups anymore?
Best Green Queen
2007 Mercedes-Benz E320 BLUETEC
There's nothing better than a classy man that cares for himself and the environment. Step aside toaster-looking hybrids and teen miniatures, the new Bluetec from Germany boasts MPG figures in the mid-30's. Yes, mid-30's for only about a grand more. Play games if you want, OPEC... the American road trip will never die!
Most Likely Trade Cruiser
2007 Cadillac Escalade
Has someone finally picked up the phone at General Motors? For decades I swear it was disconnected. They seem to be getting their messages now, though. The formula is simple: Build a vehicle that appeals and it will sell. This time they said to heck with the suburbanite in favor of the bling kings who care little about gas prices as long as the chrome rims blind onlookers at 2 MPH.
Best Techno Flagship
2007 Lexus LS
What do you get the gay man that has it all? A car that has it all. The 2007 Lexus LS (if you can call it a car) has more tricks up its sleeve than Sean Michaels. Years ago, luxury carmakers laughed at Toyota's launch of a luxury brand. Now, Lexus leads the world in quality, reliability and now technology. The new 2007 LS is perhaps the most technologically advanced car on the road. Get a shiatsu and vibrating massage in the back seat while viewing your DVD flat screen. Passengers can also lay back in pure bliss with the automatic body temperature sensors and the 19-speaker sound system. Now, if only there were a bar in there.
Best Retail Carriage
2007 Mazda 6
The 6 gives plenty of zoom on a retail queen's budget. Mazda's flagship is also economically priced at about $20,000 MSRP. Good thing... retail worry-ers have little cash for a car note, especially given their tendency to spend every dollar on new season fashions at a 10 percent discount.
2007 Hyundai Sonata
The untrained eye never knows if the dress that drag queen is wearing is couture or just an ebay special- just as the untrained eye won't have a clue that the cleanly-styled Sonata is the best bargain in it's class. The interior is constructed with high-quality lines and materials that make you wonder how carmakers like Ford and Mitsubishi dare sell vehicles with toy plastic at higher prices. Ride in style, spend less and save your money for those wholesale boas.
Posted: 02/27/07 12:05 PM
Some of these cars don't seem too gay to me